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Sunday, October 31, 2004 Just woken up... Hmmm... quite a satisfying sleep coz had a bit of alcohol last nite... ANd its free! all thanks to that guy who kept asking my sis out so she tagged me along and he paid! hahaha~ my sis is so evil.... lolz...~Today, i'm gonna cook curry rice and then leave for lessons then shopping with my sister!! hahaha~ yeah!!! so I dun have to see xiao lao ban for 3 days i'm so much happier now.. just dreading tomolo... hahaha~ but i'll play squash in the morning again... haiz.z... my taiwan trip cancelled!!!! COZZ the tickets timing all not appropriate... so my boss refuse to let me and ching off on either a sat nite or the deepavali eve nite!! Damn!! why muz the eve be smack rite in the middle of the week!!! Argh~ me and ching got double blow!!!! hope ting ting will buy alot of "Bu Chang" for us from taiwan.. looks like i'll have to be stuck in singapore!! to think i've given my schedule and placed that days free... well... i can always find wanjia and sing tee to go out... coz was supposed to "date" them... hahaha~ Been wanting to do so many things which i kept forgetting... one of which is call idp!! argh... my receipt for the payment of uni fees... then i wanna msg jolene to see if she's okay, then i wanna transfer money to joycelyn... then i wanna buy new track shoes coz mine has been falling apart. hahaha~ yupz... I also wan to download some song... but i dunno how. *pissed* well... I like this part of the lyrics: "Don't wanna love u if u don't love me Don't wanna need u when u won't need me too Don't wanna tell u this now but it wounldn't be right if i didn't tell u tis tonight!" Lost.IN.Translation. Friday, October 29, 2004 Woke up early as usual this morning hoping to get to the squash courts earlier but my body refused to listen and budge... it seemed like all the muscles in my body are aching and flaccid and just refuse to cooperate with my mind.... then i felt hot.. realizing.. I"ve got a slight fever!! arggh..... And plus a terrible headache from all the willing of my body to move.. so i msged xiao lao ban that i'm not going to work..... woke up again at 14.30pm... feeling much better...went to work at orchard one... I was super drenched although i had an umbrella!! coz, apparently, the bloody thing was leaking!! and not only that, the roads were all flooded... you noe the somerset mrt there... always flooded one.. yah, so my whole back was wet, my hair was wet, half my jeans was wet, my shoes splurt water with every step and i'm freaking cold for the next 2 hours!! and had to work socklesss!!!! EEeeee...!! hahahaha~ so disgusting! but today was pretty good, the business... but so tiring coz the 2 new gals are still so slow... esp the older one!! my goodness! its getting on my nerves!! But boss told me that tomolo will be her last day as he is planning to sack her.... hmmmm...... yupz... so seems like i gotta tahan for another day. having a splitting headache now... so i think i'll slp early... tomolo will be a long day... working at orchard till 3 then its down to chinatown to book air tickets to taiwan then its down to SIR building to renew ching's passport and then its back to orchard to work again!!! hahaha~ hope i can pull thru.. think i'll officially stop my jap lessons.... then i can rest better.. hmmm..... yah.. I'm feeling happy today... think coz i don't feel trouble coz i din see xiao lao ban... my mood changes as his changes... i'm very sensitive... so its good i dunno wat he is feeling like today... think i'm gonna go out on sunday to shop.. then maybe go for a drink... heehee... ^^ Lost.IN.Translation. Thursday, October 28, 2004 Just came back from work... Aiyoh. so tired.. hmmm... Tell u why... coz I din sleep on tuesday nite. then went out early to play squash on wed morning then went to work...FULL DAY... so when i got home, i was bashed!! Fell straight asleep when my head hit the pillows.. hahaha.... then woken up by some noise early this morning... then its the same routine for me again!! hahaha... so i'm so sleepy plus tired.... Hmmm....Not too happy today, mainly coz i'm super duper tired.... so I'm STONED>... but coz of that, me and xiao lao ban oso not too good today.... called him just now. he still not home... haiz... i'm so emotionally drained.. I think its time for me to let go too......... argh.... well... not really in the mood to talk abt stuff... so lets tok nonsense.... like, eiko's gonna be sick coz she got cough... like, eiko is gonna play squash tomolo morning again... like, eiko is hoping nikki would go for interview at her restaurant.. like, eiko wanna make more new frenz.... like eiko wanna die earlier... like eiko is going to sleep now.... Nitez NitezzzzzzZZZZ.... Lost.IN.Translation. Sunday, October 24, 2004 Feeling blue.. Kinda tot abt australia and stuff... I'm scared. real scared. what would become of me there? what would become of me and xiao lao ban? what would become of us after i return? would there even be a us anymore? I'm so worried. these re-occuring questions keep bugging me... i can't seem to get control of myself as it seem to get the better of me each time. I don't want to have to walk into Xiao lao ban's place smiling pretending that i'm never gonna leave, that i'm brave enough to face it on my own, that i know what i want... I don't really know what I want anymore? Is it becoz i met him? or is it this period of free time has set me thinking? is that why i want to be busy all the time? so that i cannot think of the inevitable that is to come in a few months time? a few months! Its not a long time. its not! its sending jitters down my back! I'm running out of time!Lost.IN.Translation. Tuesday, October 19, 2004 Hai~*sigh of happiness* so satisfied today..... although i din get to eat the stuff i want... but i saw my xiao lao ban again~ Hai~ hee~ he's so sweet... he got me yoghurt coz he knew i can't eat... and he also actually wanted to ask me out.. but i already meeting my fren plus christine called to ask him get food for her.. hee~ ^^ but i still got to smell him and see him laugh.. and got to talk to him,.. ^.^Hoho....Today, went out with Jolene lah.. then she went to far east to look for shoes and a dress for her bf's friend's wedding.. in the end, she settled for this super cute heels at a very good price but can't say the same for the dress... no luck of finding any.... hahahaha~ today i sawWanjia at COSi cafe with meihuan having tea.. hahahaha~ nuz ask her out to chit chat soon.. so miss my frenz.... Then at Far East, This crazy gal came and kick me.. I wonder who the hell it was.... hahaha~ Huibin lah~ that brat who is 5 days younger than me... hahahaha~ she gained weight le,... and dyed her hair in this so erm... "vibrant" colour..... hahahaha~ Then me and Jolene went over to isetan to try her luck at the dres.... but still no luck.. so we ended at Kinokuniya's coffe club... quite like the environment.. hee~ had milkshake coz i still can't have anything to eat.. hahahaha~ but it was a good chat with her.. its always good to chat with Jo.. hahaha~ then we talked abt Jerry... hahahah! she got cheated by him to buy disgusting tasting mooncake which she seriously thinks was expired! lolz~ my goodness... thank god i was not contactable during that period of time! loz~ fancy calling only when he needs favours... and giving me sucky schedules in the past... serves him right for his situation. I hate ppl to make use of me. hahaha~ so that's a good thing he can't get me and when he finally did, my hp was spoilt so it cut him off after i told him straight that i am not interested in multi level crap or buying any products from him...*bleh* Phew~ too agitated.... yah... aniwae, afterwhich we headed for our respective dears workplace and brought some food before finally meeting again at clarke quay mrt to take train home together. but she din seem too happy but can see she a bit more secured le.. but i was like on cloud 9 le lorz... I'm easily satisfied lah... So looking forward to return for work but at the same time scared coz i dunno if i'll get to rest properly or get xiao lao ban to treat me so nice.. hee! "NI ZHUANG BING" that's what he teasingly told me when he saw me smiling so radiantly! LoLZ~ but he's happy too... Hai~^^ Lost.IN.Translation. Hoho~ I'm a mooncake face~ lolz~ Yesterday i went to see Azheshi at work place... (altough the real purpose is to see xiao lao ban lah) hee~ then they all so shocked to see me... keke~ but can see that xiao lao ban is quite happy~ hohoho... Aniwaes, he kept teasing me coz i still cannot eat anything mah... but i was so glad to be beside him and smelling him i can't really be bothered.... hee~ feeling so xin fu... abit floating le..... keke~... ^^ Oh, there is a new azhuma oso korean startied work yesterday.. she say i look like korean..! NOT AGAIN!! argh... I am japanese japanese japanese! and she say i look like a DOLL!!!! how absurb?! A doll? where got doll the eyes so small one?! Lolz~ but she say i pretty can le.. hahahaha~ yupz... yesterday oso went to airport to see yong mei off ah... then tis group of pervertic china men actually wanted to ask for my no.!! but coz they were saying they going to return to china, so can't keep in contact!! in the first place, I never say want to give u rite! *bleh* Men.... but was quite fun to go to the airport. love it.... but i think i will not like it so much now if it was the time for me to leave xiao lao ban to go australia and study.. *Sobz* should stop thinking.. i'm so scared...... Ya~ and just like i said the other time, i really did hurt WX coz he msged me recently to say:"to be frank i still like you".. Argh~~ NO!! but i think he finally understand that we cannot be together...... well aniwae, i can't help it lorz... i've tried my best to let him noe slowly but he don't accept.. now that xiao lao ban is arnd, he can't do anything mah~ hee~ yupz.. so today, i'm gonna go out shopping with Jolene to help her de-stress and oso coz she feeling upset over some stuff... hmm... hope she'd be fine... yah.. think i will not meet xiao lao ban today then.. till when i return to work on thursday... hee~ starting to miss him~ *Floating* lolz~ Lost.IN.Translation. Friday, October 15, 2004 13/10The sting in my left hand and the burning sensation that was screaming thru it as the anaesthetist injected wat i suspect to be barbiturates into the drip on my hand... I can''t breath, tears start rolling.. "Breathe! breathe!" screamed the nurse, but the pain was so overwhelming i forgot how to do that simple act of nature... Finally, I forced my mouth to open and suck in air.... My eyelids start to feel like lead and just had to slam shut...... My throat fells terrible!! How come my nose is bleeding? PUKEZ!!!! I vomitted blood along with gatric juices and my nose bled like never before and i can't feel my mouth.. was drooling all over and the nurse had to clean me up.... where is my mouth? I feel so terrible after the effect of anaesthetic wore off... bleeding in my nose due to the endonasal tube they force-fed into when i was under general anaesthesia...... lousy techniques.... argh... i can't swollow..... i can't close my mouth... the lower part of my face feels flaccid..... terrible day~ 15/10 Argh~ I feel terrible! my mouth hurts like no one's business and i look like a balloon head! Lolz~ but its been a well, deserved and good rest for me... although i feel a little awkward not doing much in a day... told u i'm a workaholic... Yupz... Yiting, Ching and Me has planned to go for a short getaway to hong kong nxt month! i'm so looking forward to it!! Haiz... i miss Xiao lao Ban... Except on the day of the op he called, there is no other news from him.. Argh~ heartless creatures MEN are!!!! Fine by me if he wants it this way! Hmph~ Tomolo i think i'll go out to orchard walk walk for a breather... so couped up at home~ And he's having tis great function which he is ever so excited abt.. he promised me photos.. hope he'd have fun! ^^ Havin this very bloated stomach now... due to gastric... coz i can't eat! i've been on liquid diet these 3 days!! poor eiko~ Haizz.... I feel lonely at home.... *sobz* Aniwae, needed more info on travelling HK but when i went to the Library, There is nothing on it!! Lousy Senkang Library! hahaha~ Guess i'll have to do it else where... tink i'll oso go China town tomolo to check out the travel prices although i think Ting already did it... she was the one who suggested it afterall... oh... btw, Ting is my new colleague at han ka ram and is a taiwanese!!! hahaah~ but we got along fine... along with Ching... so i really hope to get this break before i'm sent off to australia to be tortured~ hahaha~ Well, kinda feeling faint today... think i exerted myself to much... coz like i said i din eat, but i went out to compasspoint to get some stuff... afterwhich when i got home, i felt feverish but still went ahead to wash my shoes and stuff... and also not rest... so i think i better stop now and sleep... coz i've been awake all this time just to wait for 12am for my antibiotics... Ironic rite... poor eiko... Lolz~ I miss MY XIAO LAO BAN!! Lost.IN.Translation. Sunday, October 03, 2004 Hmm.... I LOVE children's day!!!! hahaha~ and its all becoz of him.. I think, or hope, he is starting to see the significance of me in his life after the separation!!! steady progression now in our relationship and he is treating me well.. hope it will last! well, after work at his place, i went to han ka ram to work on children'a day... hee~ then he came at 9.30pm!!!! surprise visit! with my children's day prezzie!! hahahah~ sweets! loads of them! je relly thinks i'm a baby ah.. hee.. yah... thant day he really made me laugh alot.. hee~ the candies are so so so super duperly extra SWEET!!!! keke! ^^well, well, he now at hougang playing soccer and i'm supposed to be writing my jap essay... oh well... haiz.. then tomolo i'll go play squash early in the morning! hahahaha! and early is early! 7am!!!! hohoh.... yup... been thru alot but think i'm more or less stable... Recieved sms from WX.. he told me he is over me le... so i tot i can tell him abt me n xiao lao ban... hmmm... who noes.. he whipped out a whole lot of this gal being interested in him and stuff after i told him that... its like NO LINK!!!!! hahahah~ i think he still haven completely gotten over me.. but i guess it needs time... silly me to really believe him and tell him abt xiao lao ban... nxt time i'll SHUT! aniwae, really hope he can find his hapiness... its really not me lorz... i can't see me with him AT ALL! yah... so. hmm...... Yah, xiao lao ban read me another story... butterflies... what is important in your love's life... you can;t own everything that is important in the life of the person u love... like the butterfly, when u pull off the wings, it died... that is impt to it... but if u assist it by letting it go and raising it to the air, it will fly, beautifully... so nv hinder or try to much to own everything of ur love coz it will die.. instead, assist him... and he will fly beautifully.... ;) I'm Blessed... Lost.IN.Translation. 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