All In A Day's Work

Monday, May 29, 2006

StressED!! STRESs!!! Stressed!!!!!!!!!! Stresssssss~!!!!!!!!!!!

SO SO so so so STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lost.IN.Translation.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

The DaVinci code is so good!!!!!!!! I just LOVE Audrey Tatou!!!

Makes me want to read the book this winter...

I think I may borrow the book from the library.. Or even buy a copy!

Recommendations that the prequel; Angels and ....Something is good too!!

HAha... They kinda sell it here as a set of 3 anyway.. Debating whether or not to get it...

Don't wanna add to my bulk of courier...

Anyway, The sushi Buffet on Hay street in Jaws Kaiten is so so so good!!!

Should go and get it!! Had it like twice this month!!

Shopping shopping shopping..

Bought Jeans! Finally! I needed them!! Yupz... More to bring back..

Better stop spending money and start STUDYING!!

Hee... He is fine in Korea... So glad.. But I think he is rather tired.. Many transfer from Incheon airport and domestic flight and way back to his house...

Just glad he is coping well. Miss him! He seem so busy having to meet up all his friends in korea plus his business...

ANyway, All for the best!

STUDY!!!

Lost.IN.Translation.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

He is leaving S'pore.

He is going back to Korea.

Indefinitely.

Something bad happened to his sister.

He has no plans on when he will return.

He leaves tomorrow evening.

Why when he is happy, this things have turn Bad for him?

Make him upset again?

Now, he just want to sleep. He didn't tell me everything.

He say he will next time. I just things will sort out. I hope he feels better.

He can call me from Korea. I hope he does, so I can share with him his burden.

I hope the bad incident on his sister is managable. Please. Please.

I was shivering and trembling when I heard he was gg back indefinitely, that he is upset. I thought my heart was going to explode.

Please just let everything be fine.

Lost.IN.Translation.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Good Hair Day... YAy~!

Lost.IN.Translation.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sleeping Problem

Well, its nothing new, I have been having insomnia for quite some time.

Therefore, I am leading a very unhealthy lifestyle. Either sleeping at irregular times, or insufficient sleep all together.

It is really tiring. Sleepy is one thing, being tired is another. Especially those restless nights with continuous dreams and sometimes, the sleep is like not a sleep at all.

For example, I can lie in bed and close my eyes. I feel like I'm sleeping. But I actually know what the hell is going around me.

I would have thought it was a dream in the beginning, but I realized its not.

This resulted in me having really dry and swollen eyes. Lethargic the whole day, even no mood to study.

My Aunt, who is a doctor advised:

1)Sleep at the same time everyday.
(I tried, But can't coz I can;t even sleep)

2) Read a book instead if you cannot sleep.
(I did, and ended up not sleeping at all for the next 36hours)

3) Close your eyes and try not to think
(Well, I ended up thinking of not thinking of anything-still cannot sleep)

4)Eat the yellow cold tablets
(Woah! WOrks like a charm. But I get headaches the next day. And its not good to be dependent on medications anyway.)

Her advise being that I should not resort to sleeping pills a they will be ineffective after a while. SO my sleeping problems will come back.

And, Also coz its addictive..

Haiz.. Looks like I won't be getting much sleep this year.

Then, my friend Sixian, who always visits me, finds it difficult to just drop by, cause I will be sleeping everytime she drops by.

Its not that I have nothing else better to do than sleep. But, the fact is, I can't sleep at night, ending with no sleep at all.

So, duuring the day, when my sleeping mood strikes, of course I would take every opportunity to sleep.

My brain needs to rest some time or other. Well, She understands. Totally sweet of her.

But, my flatmate, Wenifer, She thinks I'm a sleeping machine, sleeping 75% of my time. Which I got defensive.

I mean, if I was really getting quality sleep and any sleep at all, I wouldn't mind her saying that. I do love to sleep in the past, even without sleeping problems.

BUT NOW< I CANNOT SLEEP!!!! She thinks I sleep my way into University?! Yah, so I made my sentiments clear to her.

When she is asleep, I am awake studying. and things she did not see doesn't mean it didn't occur.

Hai... People like to Judge don't they?

SOmetimes, I feel so tired when I didn't get anysleep at all, but am too afraid to nap, coz I'm afraid I can't sllep again at noght.

BUT, I can actually still be unable to sleep after 36hrs of being awake!!! Madness!!

That's why my theory now is, I DON'T CARE! If I feel sleepy, I will just sleep. Coz I will nv know when I can sleep again!!!

So far, I haven slept for like 48hrs plus??? I dunno... Sucks. Brain can't study, yet still active enough not to be able to sleep... Thus wasting my precious study time.

Hmm.. anyone with remedy? Let me know...

Lost.IN.Translation.

Monday, May 15, 2006

If I had a chance...

If I had a chance to go back to a time in my life and stay there.

I thought about it for quite some time.

I guess people tend to hope they can rewind things when it gets tough or ugly. Perhaps its the same for me.

Well, after giving it much thought, I wanted to go back to Japanese school. Where I can't remember everything but know I have a complete family.

But yet, there is this vague image of me being left out, or maybe, bullied in jap school.

SO I've changed my mind. Then, I kept thinking, but I realized, looking back, there wasn't a time, where I was truely happy, truely comeplete.

It was either I hate myself so much I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, or I did the silliest things ever on impulse.

But one thing was evident, I never had what I wanted, what I wished for, what I worked hard for. And its demoralizing. to think that I still have many light years ahead (yah, I mean I won't know lah, I may drop dead the next day or something, But on the average, I shld live a long life).

You see, nothing good ever seems to happen to me.

Then I thought, maybe my first love would be the perfect time to go back to. But, yes, although I've never regretted knowing him (I have had many many happy times with him), somehow, it all felt so controlled.

Like I was holding back. All because he is emotionally impaired and can't give me the security I needed.

Then, flashes of memories came and I realized I did alot of foolish things that I regret. The embarrassment is too much to even try to think of it. But I can't retract what I've done.

And, now, the hurt of this tempremental relationship seems even more real than the happiness I felt at first.

It seems like all I can ever feel is this pain, and happiness just seemed like a dream.

And If I had a chancce to see the future, knowing my first love is such a complicated one. Would I choose not to have started it?

I kept thinking about it again. And the answer is, No. I will still have satrted it.

Just because.

I'm stoked to have known him, to have him in my life. Even the happiness that seems like a dream, etched in my memory, can keep me going, can bring a smile to my face, can brighten my days.

Yes, sometimes when I look at him, when I think of him, or when I miss him, different flashes of a memory can come back to me.

Some may be happy, some maybe painful, some may be embarrassing.

But nothing beats the feeling of having your chest so full of happiness and love for that one person, going to explode. Just looking at his VEry CUTE face, his silly smile, and his silly actions.

Oh man, I love him so much. How can I love such a callous and careless man?

Life is really odd. I believe we all meet for a reason. I know not what my purpose in his life was.

But I know, in my life, he has helped me grow, he has taught me how to love, he has taught me how to look beyond myself and give everything with no inhibitions.

He has brought to me emotions I never knew exsisted, Emotions that are ever so conflicting, I never knew they can occur at the same time. Emotions so soothing to my crying heart. Emotions so undescribable.

TOo bad I wasn't of any help in his life. I can never match up to what he has taught and given to me. SOmetimes, just that thought make me feel like a selfish person.

It seems like I'm just taking and not contributing.

All I can give is my growing love for him. ALl i can give is my unlimited time. All I can do is hold him for the longest time or kiss away his tears.

All of which doesn't seem useful at all to this independent and determined man.

I'm just a girl afterall, not worthy of his love.

But the point is, we make mistakes in our life, some we may regret, some we may not even remember.

But as long as somewhere, there is just this little sweet memory that you have. It can make such a big difference. It can bring you places you never thought you can go.

So, If I had a chance to go back in time in my life. It will be to where I sit in the arms of my father, making every moment count. To make the memories embed. To have a deep impression and to give a deep impression.

So that I won't get that emptiness thinking of my childhood, looking at other's childhood.

SO that I know I was unique to him, that I have something to remember him of. Instead of just trying to grasp fading memories.

Oh~ It's been such a long time. I've missed him. I think of him alot, especially more when I'm hurting.

This is the man that even baka cannot hold a candle to.

My dearest Dad.

Lost.IN.Translation.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

What did I do wrong this time?!

When did it all become my fault?

WHy are you treating me this way?

You are the unstable one! YOu are the emotionally impaired one.

DOn't make me suffer like that.

Just come clean. I will go if that's what you want.

And this time, Don't, DON'T even try to make me stay again. I won't fall for it again.

Argh~!!!!!!!!!

You know how hard it is for me? ALone here? Struggling to make it work?!

YOu promised! you always did! But you never kept them!!!!!!!!!!

You know how much I will miss you and how much I will need your support and attention?!!

You can't even spare 5mins? You can't even face the problem!!

YOu never did!! And I always closed an eye! But not this time!!!

Lost.IN.Translation.

Friday, May 05, 2006

TAV nite:Charity theme (wear anything all clashed and ugly)

FUn! FUn! FUN!!!!!!

Lost.IN.Translation.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I know not what to do

I know not what to do
The complex things we do

I know not what to do
To handle disappointments time and again

I know not what to do
when all seems so foreign to me

I know not what to do
When I realized I don't know much

I know not what to do
When all these is what beckons

I just want to walk away from these uncertainties.
I want to know what I can do.

Lost.IN.Translation.