All In A Day's Work

Monday, July 28, 2008

Feeling Kinda....

Angry. Maybe Upset.

No. Angry. Pffft.

Sucks!

Feeling blue these days... CAn't seem to cheer up.

I'm really missing him alot. ):

Don't feel like doing anything.

Just wanna lay down, do nothing.

But I can't even have a proper night's of sleep. @.@

I hate feeling this way. Hate that I've gotten my heart broken again. T-T

Lost.IN.Translation.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Ok... SO Eiko FINALLY opened the bogu bag.

AND.....

NOTHING!!!!! No Mold!!! >.<
To think I was terrified to open it for 2 years! LOL!

Aniwaes, feeling kinda moody these days. Need sleep.

And alot alot alot of things going on.

And I dunno what else to say.

Lost.IN.Translation.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Miharu Sapporo Ramen At the Gallery Hotel! (:

Super YUMS!!!!
Thanks Kenny Kenny! ^.^v Bring "your princess" to eat good food!! Hee. Super Happy and enjoyed it!
Great recommendation on the vege Gyoza. Something different. But nice. (: Reminds me of.... Something someone told me about gyoza skin and the type of vinegar used. @.@ Oh wells. And the ramen is SALTY!! But not too overwhelming. And definitely NOT the msg loaded kind. Its pure goodness and essence. (: *Slurp*
Noodles are al dante. Chewy chewy and thick. Very good texture in the mouth between my palate. (: Super heaven.

Yup. Kenny is SOOOOO busy! (: But I'm impt. Hee.. SO he'll make time. Yupz. Then we stroll down to Mediya. He was planning to sell me. T-T Kowaii.... LOL!!!!
And he accompany me browse the supemart! My fav fav fav! And buy cheesecake and even "walked" me to the MRT. Lol... (: Ai SI NI!!!! ^.^v

And... Long long long ago... Lol.. Evidence of me being a Bitch! Lol... (: There's a story behind it. But... only a handful of ppl know. SO shall keep it as that. (:

Lastly..... Yup!! NOW, I'm pretty sure we're sisters!!!! LOL!

Ciao~

Lost.IN.Translation.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

SHAPE RUN 2008~ (: Woke up SOOOOOO early... But still feeling quite satisfied and accomplished. Hee... Although I haven't ran for nearly 2 weeks... I did NOT give up at all... (:

Autistic Friend... Karen. ;p

And faking a 10KM runner....

Moi... Please ignore all that whitness and fatness... @.@

Karen and I... Hee..

I'm wearing a Knee guard. Coz I have bad knees that were injured during kendo and running while I'm Fat.... Tsk. >.<

Here comes the REAL PRO!!! Siew Hua! She ran 10KM in 56mins... >.< WOw!!!

Hee... And I was approached by some little boy... Haha.. He just said "hello!" and then "bye Bye" to me! So random! lol... -_-'''

Then we went to get ourselves fat again... With....

Hee... Okies... need Nap.

Lost.IN.Translation.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

I have a run tomorrow... And I haven't ran for like 1 and a half weeks? Pffft. I'm so dead! @.@ You can observe me at the end of the pack tomorrow; crawling. Tsk.

Ok, so I'm not in a very high mood. Can't really sleep again. And wondering why he is always not online these days. Yah yah.. I know.

I miss him. ):

Anyways... My room has been attacked by cockroaches/beetles/moths recently. >.< Eew.

And so, instead of reading thesis and the handbook and stuff... I've been reading things I shouldn't be reading and thinking abt random stuff.. And.... taking narcissitic pictures and editting them coz I look hideous... Lack of sleep and all that. Show u all! lol.

Lol... Ok ok.. enuff oh; "Oh~ i SO LOVE MYSELF"

So I'm bored. I can do alot of many other things... BUT... I have no mood to..

@.@ Mew.

Lost.IN.Translation.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Went to the StoneGrill. Healthy and affordable. Nice ambience. I wanna go there again and next time, try lounging on their nice sofas on the second level. (: Something new and interesting. Super like! ^^

But their webby is like;
www.debaliaffair.com

So I went with my Dad and Jiapei and June. At first it didn't quite start out so well, but I was thinking for the sake of a good dinner and also not wanting everyone to feel awkward, I decided to be nice. And so in the end we all had fun and I forgot the bad feeling... (:

Thanks to Zaf for accompanying me on his offday!!! Although he bullied me ALOT and called me a CUNT!!!! @.@ Boo. Stupid Bitch. Lol.

For starters, they had fried Mushrooms which looked super good. But I didn't eat them coz I haven't really been working out in the gym... -_-'''Yah. SO most not indulge. With June around, bound to have fried food....

Then came our very very hot stone heated to 400dC for each of us. So cool! Its really freaking hot!

And I had Beef! Striploin. Obviously! (: Beef is my absolute favourite meat! (:

And Zaf had the Salmon coz although that place doesn't sell pork at all, the meat sold are not halal, so he went for the seafood.

Surprisingly, June's main was the Portbello Mushroom; GIANT. (: Nice nice nice!!! Nom nom nom...

And she made a face outta it. My idea. lol.

Then then then!!!! I finaaly went to the cheesecake cafe near Siglap Center! Heard so much hype about it but never had to taste it. And I DID! (: It was quite good. At least the one I ordered. Didn't like Pei's Strawberry Oreo cheesecake and Tiramisu has too strong a taste of coffee for my liking and Zaf's choc cheescake is so thick... But its not very sweet. so its ok. Mine, is the peach jelly cheesecake (as shown above). YUM!!! >.< Light and fresh. Not too sweet . But I let Zaf have nearly half of it coz he contaminated it. @.@ Basket. Pffft.. OOH!! And the ambience is very very nice. Comfy sofa and nice music. At first we thought souldn't take picture, but then, someone beside us was taking with flash somemore... So... We whipped out our phones... ;p

And it so nice and comfy, we had to take pics! lol. (: I like this pic alot! But its abit dark.... Might do some editting if I have the time.

My dad is acting cute!!! @.@

So I'm pretty happy. Glad he joined us and happy to be able to catch up with pei again. (: Zaf said she's funny and she said the exact same thing when she got off the cab about Zaf... And would like to meet up more often. (:

And my dad's idea of a morning call... Pffft.... LOUSY! @.@ lol. And he tried to give me one this morning but my phone was switched off coz it was charging and also I had to switch it off now and then if not it will hang and I will not get my msges... -___-''''

Lost.IN.Translation.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

And so.... my sister graduated.

in MY room! @.@

Cool Huh. Tsk. What kinda grad is she man. -___-'''

My pretty sisters.

Bbz N Me!

Extra....

We helped her grad! (:

And so, my sister will be moving on soon... To corrupt the minds of the future generations... Tsk tsk. "Good Morning Miss Furuki~ *drawls...*"

Wahahahaha!!! Totally can't imagine! @.@ Anyways, More pics from Karen's birthday after I get my hands on those fur... Lol... WOlfy!!! Owe me pics!!! >.<

And so much has happened. It has overwhelmed me so much that I thought of IT again. But this time I didn't do it. Its just when these things happens, it leaves a scar on me, and each time it hits the same spot over and over. And it just grew ugly and callous formed. It hardens and the lesser I seem to feel. But yet I still feel. Isn't it about time I totally cut all ties and expectations? Its just a part in my life which is impossible to rectify. Just leave it be.

Feel so trapped and accused. And it shouldn't really bother me. Yet it does. And I don't know why.

This is a really F***ed up life. I need to run away. Start anew. Where nobody knows me. WHere I am alone. Where I can spread my wings. As if its possible.

Dream on... Dream on....

Lost.IN.Translation.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY AUTISTIC BUDDY THE KAREN!!!! ^.^v

okay, celebrated her bday yester. so one down and just need to get June and JP tog to celebrate their very belated bday.

So apparently my "dad" isn't too happy about me not telling him abt Eugene earlier. @.@ But as I've mentioned, there were so many considering factors and also my "dad" is kinda dense... So yup. Anyways, the air is cleared and I told him to be more forth-right with me. Wahaha.

Kinda miss Eugene. lol. Ok. I'm not supposed to. But hey! He doesn't know, so no stress on his side. (: And, its MY right to miss anybody I want to. He has no say over it now.

Was thinking about those little things I used to do, to improve because I know he gets worried. And I know he makes small changes too when he knows it upsets me. And I see it, I know it and I appreciate it. And he tries to control his temper as much as he can coz he knows he is bad tempered and I always get misunderstood. But all in all, I thought we could have worked it out a long way.

Anyways, the point is, without him, I lose that motivation to do those little things because it wouldn't matter anymore. I don't have to carry an umbrella all the time, and can get soaked to the skin. I don't have to eat anything the whole day and prolly half of the next day. I don't have to go home earlier or stop burying myself in my work. I don't have to struggle to stay awake in cab rides home late at night.

Hmmm... Come to think of it, he always asked me why I like him but nv really told me why he likes me. ): Yet he says I'm unfair and double-standard. T-T The only thing he'd say is that I'm always honest with him. But who isn't man. Its difficult to maintain lies. I like truth. But maybe, he didn't like me all that much anyways so he couldn't tell me. I mean I couldn't really pin point what exactly about him I like but i told him what made me like him more and stuff.

Dunno. Miss him. I think the period before going to Korea and after I came back from Korea is the best time we had tog.

But it doesn't matter anymore. *sigh*

Okies. No more depressing things. Back to reading the journals.... @.@

Lost.IN.Translation.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

SCANDAL!!!
lol... tsk tsk...

My Bitch cum Dad.. DOn't we just look like siblings?! Hee...
Thanks Zaf! For listening to my random rambles again... And cheering me up. And checking up on me (nearly everyday, dad! Tsk) And entertaining me when I have sleepless nights. T-T And yah, I'm surprised myself too even though its a short period of time. I guess its what we called chemistry. *So cliche* *shudders* lol! Yup. I will stop feeling sad soon. But I think I'm still gonna.... like him. -__-''' *slap me!*

*I'm a beautiful girl~! lalalalalala~....* ;p

Oh and JooHoon cheered me up unknowinly too. (: Coz He's just silly the way he is. Though I had to pay for dinner and etc.... -___- Yup. Sent him off last night! That's why I got to me Zaf coz he sneaked out from work to slack with me! LOL!

Anyways... some random photos... I miss HKR!!!!!!!!! ):

Oh wells. My knee hurts real bad. *I'm old* @.@ And my eyes are swollen from the lack of sleep. ): BooHoo! And I'm fine.

Don't worry Peeps! I'm FINE!!!! (: Just that I miss him. But its ok. Coz I can think about happy thoughts. I mean, when U miss a person, its all happy and sweet tots right? Yup yup. (:

SMile smile! ^.^v

Oopsies!!! I'M LATE FOR WORK!!!! @.@

Lost.IN.Translation.

Monday, July 07, 2008

My head feels like its floating. I seem to be floating... THis is the after effects of not sleeping. @.@ Not that I didn't want to. But I couldn't at all. Well, good thing Zaf was working the night shift so he entertained me till I went to work. And I was really early for work. (: But I'm Sleepy~

Have to have dinner with Joo hoon and send him off tonight, so I'll be having a long day. Means I cannot go and snuggle in my bed early today. ): Boo...

And I miss Boss. Joo Hoon told me not to tell Boss that he came to S'pore for holiday. Coz he doesn't want to be nagged by boss. Miss Boss!! I need to call him soon. ASk him abt Song Im and also tell him about me gg overseas.

Ajeshi haven't called me for a month. ): I'm still waiting. Maybe I'll email him first, then He'll call me. Perhaps he is busy.

Anyways, I'm blabbering. Coz my brain is not really functional right now. Oh, and I talked to Pete... He is in Melbourne now. (: He's going to travel for a while before returning to Perth. But for now, he's staying put at Melbourne. Tho he hates the weather; coz its dark and gloomy. He's a sunshine kinda boy. (:

I want to visit him! He told me to go visit him in Melbourne and then go to Perth and when he returns to Perth, He'll look for me! ^^ I wanna wanna wanna go there! Going to take the opportunity to go around more this time. Wanna go Sydney too. And Uluru!!!

And I don't wanna go back to Singapore anymore... Dun want! *sigh* I miss miss miss miss miss miss miss him. ): BOO.

Lost.IN.Translation.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Photos~~!!! From long ago...

Siew Hua and Moi at Shillawon... As you can see, I was fatter... It was like end of May... Coz he said he worries when I don't eat... So I tried to eat proper meals... And gained weight.... @.@

My Poly friends cum current colleagues... Calista, Serene and Siew Hua

Then, on the first week of June, Ching's Birthday! (:

This is the night before he told me he like someone else... Karen and Fer... My goodies. I was still thinking that night that I would like to bring him there to eat coz I'm pretty sure he'll enjoy it... But... I guess he can go with her or his friends...

Lastly, the funny Nithya from Calista's group.. (: SHe didn't know what single eye-lid means coz every one in India are double eye-lid.. So She assumed all Human beings are too.... -____-'''

And this is the heart-broken me... Looking kinda old and unhealthy... Lost 5kg and lots of sleep... But I dun mind the losing of weight. I can wear my clothes more comfortably now... But 5kg in one month... Its too much. But June, was really... tough. He gave me a hard time emotionally. And I wanted to stay away so he can study... But he ended up liking another girl while I was "away" and made me feel constantly on the edge and walking on eggshells when I chat with him. He started being impatient and irritable. And I knew... but I didn't want to know for sure. so I told myself its the exams stress. Because I didn't want my past to affect my present. And it wasn't his fault and I didn't want to impose... But my instincts were right. ): From now on... I don't know anymore if they will be instincts or paranoia... But I guess all guys can't be trusted and will cheat one way or the other.

Never thought I would get my heart broken again so soon huh. But thanks to all my friends who has been there for me. Even surprisingly Calista and Siew hua were concerned.

Sorry Ka for being snappish that time in the sms... I know you're trying to help. I was really just confused and broken.

And of coz, ZAf have been constantly checking up on me, dragging me out to cheer me up instead of letting me mope at home or bury myself with work in the office...

Even Junwei and Kenny and Regine msged me, tho they don't know what's going on in my life, but their msges at the right time, made me feel fortunate I have friends like them. And TCS still entertains me now and then and is constantly concerned abt my updates... So I am glad for friends who dotes on me.

And my new friend Selina, who is now in Sweden... (: Studying on scholarship. She's been so nice and showing me bits of her life in Sweden. Just like how Eugene show's me bits and pieces of his life in Melbourne and what he usually do, etc. Makes me happy. (: And she told me I could go visit her! Which is really really tempting!

And my sister is really funny. Though she keep saying "I told you so", "He totally mind-F***ed you". But she said she was so tempted to set his door on fire when she walked past his apartment in Melbourne, etc, or told me how she imagine chewing off his head if she ran into him in Melb. Of coz I don't want her to do those things. I mean, I don't want him hurt or unhappy. But the notion, its her way of telling me she cares. (:
My sis got back from Aus early in the morning, pound my door down and woke me up. As I unlock the door for her to enter, and snuggle under my comforter, she looked at me and said "Aiyoh! Jie! What did Eugene do to you?!!! Why you lose so much weight again?!"
Then I said "How you know? You can't even see my body under the comforter!"
She said,"Your face and shoulders are always a give-away when you lose or gain weight"
Me "-_____-'''"

But I was happy those 4 months, tho I did gain weight... But coz I didn't want him to worry, so I have to eat proper meals... But now, lose my apetite and also, I don't have to listen to him anymore. SO I can skip all the meals I want.

I'm "Puasa-ing"... Siew Hua told me to say that next time... @.@

Lost.IN.Translation.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Liar Liar Pants on fire....

I know he likes me to be honest. But how can I tell him the truth?

"how have ya been?"

You expect me to say;

"Miserable. Been crying everyday and night and lost my precious sleep and lost 5 kg due to the lack of appetite. And my eyes are so swollen you'll think I have no eyes. And ya, can't stop missing you and my mind can't stop asking myself all those senseless questions. But other than those, since my heart is still beating, i guess I'm alright."

-____-'''

NO RIGHT?!

So I said "ok"

Oh well, he doesn't need to know, and I don't want him to feel bad in anyway. It isn't really his fault.

Yups. So I engaged in polite conversation with him tho my heart was crumbling further. But he doesn't know. And doesn't need to know.

His oblivion can keep him happy. then it'd stay that way. No need for so many people to be miserable.

I'm kinda hopeless huh. I let myself and my friends down. Sorry....

I know it will hurt me more, yet I let myself do it. Just to be sure he has stopped feeling so bad and guilty.

Which I think he has. So, now, I will really cease contact with him. I'll try. ):

Lost.IN.Translation.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

It is days like this that I miss him so much more.
Because at the end of each tough day, I know he would be there, and everything was going to be fine. He'll make my lips curve into a smile before I turn to hit the sack.

Now, each day drags on and it seems longer. And tought days like this, I know he is no longer there for me. ):

And I start wondering if he's treating her as well as he was treating me. I hope he doesn't say the same things or do the same things tho. I did wish him happiness. So that's all there is to it. I've been erased from his life.

And it makes me feel lousy and empty. As if I've been a failure in every aspect of my life. I couldn't even keep an aspect where I can look forward to, after I have a tough fight somewhere.

I know I shouldn't be. But I miss him alot. And its probably my fault for believing everything I was told and letting myself fall so easily and quickly. It was my fault for wanting to believe when I have always knew there is nothing good that will be kept for me. I knew, yet I indulged.

So I just have to get used to it, try to hope one day I'll stop feeling altogether.

I know I said I wonuldn't cry. But I hurt. It hurts too much and I can't control them anymore. It really hurts.

Lost.IN.Translation.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I'd like to believe that then; all he said he meant it, all he said was true.
Maybe he did, maybe he was.
But I couldn't bring myself to believe it.
Perhaps its easier to accept the truth thinking that all he said were lies and he didn't mean the things he said. I guess that's just how my brain functions.

Liking - it is supposed to be such a simple thing. Yes, it brings forth a whole chunk of other emotions, but you like the person. It feels right.
That's just that.
It isn't wrong to want to make the person you like and care about happy. And who won't be happy to see their loved ones smile? Is it wrong for me to want to make him happy and feel so when he is?

Its supposed to be simple, and correct. Yet he made me feel like it is wrong to like him and mess with his head and make him happy. Perhaps, now I don't have that effect on him anymore. But he made me feel like by caring, I was a burden to him.
It isn't how its supposed to be. Is it?

For him to like 2 persons at a time, I still can't understand how its done. But perhaps now, he has stopped liking me altogether. I don't know, and I don't think I want to. And maybe the picture he painted was all along rosy and cheery that I didn't expect him to take it all back. In the past relationship, I at least had that mental preparation that one day, it'd end. Of coz, I didn't expect it to end the way it did, but the point is, I knew it won't end well, even tho we talked abt marriage. But now, I was unprepared and takeen by surprise.

And I hate how I miss him so much; more than it can be expressed literally or verbally. More than he deserves and more than I should. But I don't know how to stop. And I can't stop liking him either. I don't understand how it all works. I really don't.

But I know he's not coming back. To him, she will be perfect to him, for he sees her from afar and not knowing anything else. As for me, I'm the girl who messed with his head, pushed all the wrong buttons, make him frown and worry and angry and jealous. I'm imperfect.

But I'm going to make it simple for myself. I like him. I miss him alot. And I know it. And that's for me to know. And I'd live by the day knowing it, till I stop one day. I'm not going to force yself to forget, or shove these pain to the back of my mind as i usually would.

Today however, I miss him more than I can handle. I feel like pulling my hair out and screaming and snuggling under my sheets and not doing anything and just scribbling his name on the wall or something. I feel like I'm losing my mind. He don't deserve it. For someeone who's hurt me this much.

Unfortunately, this girl is still stupid for you.

Lost.IN.Translation.